tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-126335862011-12-13T19:56:22.242-08:00Expect only the best laughs, political satire, tunes, and hot babes on the Zombieslayer blog. Shootin' Political Correctness in the head since May 2005. If you're soft skinned or weak at heart, you might want to try elsewhere.The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.comBlogger2681100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-54682856463854938792007-04-09T22:14:00.000-07:002008-02-03T12:46:34.249-08:00

The Zombieslayer has moved here.

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-56393866445825932022007-04-04T08:32:00.000-07:002007-04-04T08:36:43.266-07:00

Just wanted to add one thing to my book review in defense of the author. She did say being a woman isn't all roses either. It's just that she had the misconception that being a man was easy. She learned the hard way that it wasn't. Doors don't magically open for you, and you'll find people will hate you for no logical reason.The grass will always be greener on the other side and none of us

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-75982626697640631382007-04-03T08:35:00.000-07:002007-04-03T10:03:32.023-07:00

I first heard of this book from the San Francisco newspaper's weekly book review section. They gave it a glowing review, and so I've danced around buying this book for weeks before finally picking it up and taking it to the cash register.Norah Vincent successfully managed to disguise herself as a man for a year and a half. As a feminist, she had her misconceptions of what it was to be a man,

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-29641305033241133692007-03-29T20:33:00.000-07:002007-03-29T20:47:34.968-07:00

My vegetarian friends, feel free to skip this post. As for us meat eaters, we need to eat more buffalo. I'll tell you why.Soil erosion is a serious environmental issue. I know it's not sexy to talk about. You start talking about soil erosion in a bar and that person makes up an excuse to go home. You animal lovers out there can probably explain this better than I could, but buffalo have a

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-6198852883798029242007-03-24T15:29:00.000-07:002007-03-26T22:08:26.859-07:00

It's almost that time, when politicians will start duking it out. We'll see a lot of vague promises, like "If I get elected, I'll improve the American education system." WTF does that supposed to mean? Or "looking out for the average American." Yeah, whatever.What I'd like to see is someone who considers serious issues. We'll have an energy problem in the future. We're already seeing the

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-89207295897624704232007-03-13T18:53:00.000-07:002007-03-13T19:01:07.212-07:00

My dear readers, I'm glad you're still around. You can tell the difference between when I'm writing cheese and when I'm writing fact. This story is real.I'm not superhuman. I cannot jump over tall buildings or dodge bullets. I'm just a normal guy working a normal job, although a job I actually enjoy doing at a company that treats me great and has good benefits. I do have a brother who was a

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-5420731002898062962007-03-05T21:38:00.000-08:002007-03-05T21:43:45.541-08:00

It's been a nice few weeks off, and at the end of this month, taking more time off to go to Vegas.I'm not a Vegas guy. Not my thing. All the lights, traffic, noises, neon, that's neat for about a day, but it gets old fast. I don't want civilization. I want anarchy.Give me the outdoors where I don't see another person for days besides the people I'm with. I don't want to see a computer, a car

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-87909560087150433872007-02-23T19:30:00.000-08:002007-02-23T19:31:48.993-08:00

My boss gave me the bad news. His wife bought him a ticket to Disney on Ice. He specifically asked her not to buy him one too, so not only is he stuck going, he's also driving. I told him I couldn't think of a worse way to spend a Friday evening. Poor guy.Not that either of us have anything against ice skating. I remember back in the day watching Katarina Witt intently, hoping I'd get to see

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-72027460779394263342007-02-20T08:45:00.000-08:002007-02-20T08:57:01.705-08:00

I was watching Back to School with my son the other day and there was an interesting dialogue exchange. A quick background, Thorton Mellon is the highly successful 60+ freshman, going back to school because even though he's made millions, his late father said that without an education, you're nobody. Professor Turner is the blonde English Professor Mellon has a crush on.So they're on a date and

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-52869288362283477602007-02-18T16:01:00.000-08:002007-02-18T16:40:04.854-08:00

Have you ever bought an album after hearing two songs from it, and you loved those two songs, so you thought for sure the whole album would be good? Then when you finally buy it, you play the album and only the two songs were good and everything else was crap?Well, I read the first two chapters of this book and thought I just had to buy it. It was funny, and took some nice shots at some of those

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-11931896563213762902007-02-17T10:09:00.000-08:002007-02-17T10:49:52.278-08:00

First off, thanks to all those who responded to the last article. I'm glad some of you pointed out the hypocrisy of my stance on that issue, and now I'm leaning more towards my friend Jess's idea - the bribe. I'll keep that article up there because I firmly believe that anything that can create open discussion is a good thing.Anti-Semitic cartoonsI was on a hiatus from blogging when this

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-27442916356010360442007-02-15T08:50:00.000-08:002007-02-15T19:48:16.416-08:00

Agetha's story"Agetha" is a wonderful woman. She has a kind heart and good intentions. However, she has one major flaw - bad taste in men.She has three kids, two of her looking like her and one looking like him. Agetha's hubby, he's another story. He's not a joy to be around. No matter what idea or proposition you have, he'll tell you how it won't work. He'll find ugliness in a rainbow,

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-49818928698891083722007-02-14T19:13:00.000-08:002007-02-15T19:26:36.604-08:00

Just a little heads up, this blog won't be suitable for children. No, it won't be p*rn, but there will be a lot more mature subject matter, kind of like how it was in the beginning. We'll have more non-politically correct discussions. We'll have more fun, like it used to be.I kind of wish blogger would offer a rating feature where you can rate it yourself. This blog would be more 16+.

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-75079396764385167132007-02-12T19:32:00.000-08:002007-02-12T15:59:54.025-08:00

If you're wondering who's going to be the next President of the United States, I'll give you a few clues. It won't be John McCain. He's too much of a jerk. It won't be Hillary Clinton. She's managed to alienate too many people. It won't be Al Gore, because some of us who vote have memories. And it won't be someone with a last name of Bush. That dynasty is over.The next President will be

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-18222550446498109632007-02-11T12:25:00.000-08:002007-02-11T10:49:21.789-08:00

Debbie was excited to finally introduce Jack, her fiancé, to her parents. As they drove over to Debbie's parents' house, Debbie turned to Jack. "Is something wrong, dear?""No, everything's fine," he lied. He just knew he shouldn't have stopped at Taco Bell an hour before going to meet Debbie's parents.Debbie's parents' made a feast, and had a good bottle of Merlot to help living up the evening

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-36822822109901607922007-02-08T19:42:00.000-08:002007-02-08T19:41:55.786-08:00

Did you all see the Super Bowl? Well, if not, there was a Snickers commercial that involved two macho guys eating a Snickers bar with their eyes closed. Right before they finished the bar, they ended up kissing by accident. It was kind of like that one scene from Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. With both of them highly embarrassed, they tried to do something "manly" and ended up pulling out

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-735608704597632552007-02-05T17:25:00.001-08:002007-02-05T19:42:31.555-08:00

It seems that no matter how many times we tell you this, you don't believe us. We think you're beautiful, just the way you are. We know you are not perfect. We don't care. We love you for the whole package, mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.We get blamed for your insecurities and it's not right. Sure there was that one guy who made fun of you in high school. But he's a

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1148544107785844122006-05-25T00:55:00.000-07:002006-05-25T01:44:41.810-07:00

I knew a kid in high school who had childhood diabetes. He had to carry a special bag with him where ever he went and on more than one occasion, I've seen him shoot up insulin. As I've always been scared of needles, I did a little research.The first thing that I found out was it's not contagious. But unluckily for me, it's an inherited disease. I found out that there are two types, the

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1147836897538694482006-05-16T20:02:00.000-07:002006-05-16T20:50:18.393-07:00

What am I reading?Harry Potter 6 again. I read the book in one day, the first day it was out. I've been reading nothing but non-fiction (historical stuff) lately and needed a break from it.What am I listening to?Currently Garbage's Beautiful Garbage is in the car. I hated it at first but it grew on me. I still think Version 2.0 is better though. Lately, it's been HIM's Deep Shadows and

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com34tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1146718040575140532006-05-03T21:43:00.000-07:002006-05-03T21:47:20.690-07:00

Several people have been asking me just what will cause the zombie plague. I've been asked everything from Cold War virus experimentation to Amway salesmen. Let me dismiss some rumors and get things straight.The virus that causes the zombie plague has been around for thousands of years. It's not something created in a test tube last century during the Cold War.Amway people are not zombies.

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com42tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1146013437320523532006-04-25T18:03:00.000-07:002006-04-26T19:51:41.466-07:00

My theoryI have a theory. You know how when you wash your clothes, you take seven pairs of dirty socks and end up with only thirteen after you dry the clothes? Well, naturally, you'd assume the dryer ate one of the socks.I'm now under the impression that dryers around the world don't eat socks. Instead, they teleport them up the butts of the politically correct. That's why they're so

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com60tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1141504233800281162006-04-05T19:02:00.000-07:002006-04-05T18:57:22.900-07:00

Whether or not you're a football fan, you might remember the late, great Reggie White. Mr. White was not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but the man meant well. He was a preacher, and in one of his sermons, he noted that the great American melting pot works, and every group seems to contribute their flavor to the pot, and it's a good thing.Well, the P.C. Nazis made mountains out of molehills

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com52tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1143451979859797512006-03-27T01:04:00.000-08:002006-03-27T01:45:18.986-08:00

This weekend, yours truly went to see The Donald speak at the Moscone Center in downtown San Francisco. I'll repeat what I remember. Keep in mind, the following is a report on what Mr. Trump said, so don't assume I agree or disagree with anything. I'm just repeating what I remember.One thing I just got to love about Trump is he loves to be surrounded by beautiful women. While the other

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1141439865105349512006-03-03T18:33:00.000-08:002006-03-03T18:37:45.266-08:00

Still have no time, so just dropping by for a quick post. Things going okay so far. Everything's cherry but my lack of sleep. It's really starting to catch up. I already submitted my proposal and I'm waiting for another party to make it happen.There still is tons of work to do before the funding starts. When it happens, it will all pay off and we'll be together as a family again instead of

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com34tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1140157113173586162006-02-16T21:47:00.000-08:002006-02-17T00:34:44.970-08:00

Folks, I simply don't have time to blog anymore. I'll come back to announce when the first bar-be-ques are, but my main priority now is to get this business going. I'm tired of working to make someone else rich. It's time I worked to make the Zombieslayer family and closest friends rich.I've told very few people about what the business is, because I'm tired of the jealousy. So many people are

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com37tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1139717400558701072006-02-12T09:04:00.000-08:002006-02-12T09:28:11.923-08:00

I've decided that instead of something serious, I'd like to start this week off with something funny. Here are a few jokes for you. Enjoy...The vampire batA vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.He told them to

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1139595009017236742006-02-10T10:08:00.000-08:002006-02-10T10:59:06.866-08:00

Tips on losing weightI used to work for a gym chain here in California. I won't say the name because I'm not authorized to speak for them. I was a Certified Fitness Counselor, and I know a little bit about losing weight.If anyone is interested, I'll share a few tips.Do not eat right before bed. In bed, you sleep. Your metabolism slows down and your body rests. If you eat a lot before bed,

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com47tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1139412844168155142006-02-08T07:32:00.000-08:002006-02-08T07:34:04.316-08:00

One thing that really bothers me about some people is they want to silence any opposition to their beliefs. It happens with the Right, calling anyone to the Left of them "communists." It happens with the Left, calling anyone who disagrees with them "fascists." It happens with moderates calling anyone who disagrees with them "extremists." It especially happens with the P.C. types. I've done

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com32tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1139329164575087172006-02-07T08:16:00.000-08:002006-02-07T08:19:24.826-08:00

My wife buys homemade natural soap from some Hippie lady at the Chico Farmer's Market. They cost $3 a bar, and we love them. They build up a real nice lather and surprisingly rinse off quite well. They feel like they don't leave behind a residue like soap you buy at a store does. I don't know if that's psychosomatic, or if these soaps really are better.I forgot to bring a bar down to the Bay

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com32tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1139242934596984552006-02-06T08:16:00.000-08:002006-02-10T10:10:36.240-08:00

For the record, I neither had money on the game nor am I a Seahawks fan. But what I watched was the worst officiated game I've ever seen, and I've watched, coached, and played plenty of football games on a variety of levels. So I don't say these words lightly. Hasselback makes a superb tackle. And the referees tack on a fifteen yard penalty for an illegal block done by him. Huh? Hasselback

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1138849248958534542006-02-01T18:57:00.000-08:002006-02-01T19:08:28.673-08:00

Someone crashed againIt never fails. Almost every time it rains, someone tailgates and crashes, making the rest of us have to drive bumper to bumper in the rain. Idiots.So I started thinking, which cities have the worst drivers? New York City, Boston, Los Angeles, and Chicago. Note that all four cities have the most strict gun laws in the country. Coincidence? Probably not.Believe me, I'm

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1138673802321809412006-01-30T18:14:00.000-08:002006-01-30T18:16:42.516-08:00

You take your spouse to a fine restaurant, where you eat the most expensive meal you'll eat this year. The kids are at home with your brother and after a rough week at work, you finally can relax with that special someone. You're having a romantic time, until it happens.The kid at the next table throws a tantrum. Maybe he doesn't like the food. Maybe he doesn't like being away from the t.v.

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com58tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1138349743943871802006-01-27T02:44:00.000-08:002006-01-27T02:45:42.490-08:00

Cannibal jokesI haven't heard a good cannibal joke in too long. Luckily, The Fifth Circle of Cubic Hell ended my draught. Click here and laugh. Bsoholic, Thom, and now DaMasta, you three are hilarious. Speaking of cannibals, two cannibals are eating a clown and one turns to the other and says "does this taste funny to you?"Upcoming eventsFor those of you who think I've mellowed out, think

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1138252669337160192006-01-25T21:12:00.000-08:002006-01-25T23:28:35.460-08:00

I got tagged by Mel. I really like this tag, because you know me, I love the whole music thing.This is from Mel's rules:1. Tell us of some songs in your life that remind you of a person, place or a specific event in your life. The kind of song that everytime you hear it, it will always, no matter what, make that person, place or "thing" pop into your head instantly. You can write as few or as

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1138035736210584282006-01-24T00:01:00.000-08:002006-01-23T23:51:54.090-08:00

Last night, I had the coolest dream I had in months. No, I wasn't alone on a Caribbean beach with a topless Tyra Banks. I was playing my black Ibanez guitar in a sick heavy metal band fronted by a cute brunette in a wild party. I was wearing a huge fluffy hat worthy of Captain Jack Sparrow, black leather pants, and a white Mozart shirt.The music was absolutely awesome and the crowd rocked back

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com38tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1137816781581455812006-01-23T08:05:00.000-08:002006-01-23T08:18:58.340-08:00

I'm now running biodieselThere's a place in Martinez, California that sells biodiesel called Golden Gate Petroleum. It's on the Shell refinery land (not the Tosco refinery), so there's a Shell sign above it even though they're independent. I talked to the dude inside and they said they're independent, they're just renting the land from Shell.I filled it up and am driving it around. The car now

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1137831687494645142006-01-21T00:18:00.000-08:002006-01-21T11:09:31.370-08:00

Bummer of a birthmark, HalYou know what really sucks? It sucks when a woman is wearing a t-shirt with what could be a cool saying on it. You get the urge to actually read what the !@#$%^& t-shirt says, but you're afraid that if you try to read it, she'll think you're checking out her hoo hoos. So you have to wait until her eyes wander elsewhere so you can quickly read the t-shirt. Then you

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com44tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1137629151611585482006-01-18T18:05:00.000-08:002006-01-18T18:39:38.606-08:00

I can drive to work 70 mph most of the way, unless some jackass starts a pile up. It happened again this morning and I'm getting tired of these dumb drivers. So I thought of a solution.Remember how your piano teacher whapped you on the hands with a ruler when your hands got lazy? Well, for the guy who starts the pile up, and causes a huge inconvenience for everyone else for the next few hours,

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com32tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1137472095446597972006-01-16T22:10:00.000-08:002006-01-16T22:53:51.483-08:00

I guess I need to do this post more often because my posts on illegal immigration are being seen wrong.Besides our American Indians, we're all children of immigrants. We get the best of the best from other cultures, and it's a melting pot where we take the best aspects of their cultures and blend them in with our own. Luckily for me, that usually includes food. I love ethnic food.I'd like to

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1137426484470136702006-01-16T07:44:00.000-08:002006-01-16T07:48:04.666-08:00

When I was a kid, I was in a special program for Gifted students. To cut costs, they cut the program. I loved the program because it was fun. I learned Greek mythology and the Latin language. Well, Greek mythology didn't help my day to day existence (it did make Clash of the Titans more enjoyable, especially when I got a chance to explain everything they got wrong), but knowing some Latin

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1137059638213523962006-01-12T22:22:00.000-08:002006-01-20T08:34:14.246-08:00

I'm not an American Indian, I just play one on T.V. However, since I've always had a fascination with history, including American history, I spent some quality time studying Native Americans and their cultures.TNT in the 90s produced a string of Native American movies that were actually quite good. Robbie Robertson produced the musical end of it, contributing several songs himself and using

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1137040435738204962006-01-11T20:03:00.000-08:002006-01-11T20:33:55.893-08:00

This is one area I break with fellow conservatives. I believe in the complete legalization of marijuana, with the same laws and restrictions of cigarettes, except for one. I really think it should only be smoked in a private residence, not in public at all except for wilderness areas.The Zombieslayer family does not smoke pot. I'm highly against it for myself as is my wife because we're

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com40tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1136908005460534732006-01-10T07:27:00.000-08:002006-01-10T07:46:45.973-08:00

A recent post by Tshsmom called "SME's friends" brought something back to me about my hometown.I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area in a little refinery town called Martinez. This town is right on the Carquinez Strait and is known for being the birthplace of the martini, John Muir (the father of the American environmental preservation movement and a huge influence on the life of Teddy

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1136660703882518162006-01-08T15:30:00.000-08:002006-01-08T16:47:36.470-08:00

I loved the movie Thelma and Louise. Some folks saw it as a male bashing movie, some saw it as a feminist movie, I just saw it as a movie about two people in bad situations turned outlaw that happened to be women. Finally, an "outlaw with a heart of gold" movie starring a woman (or in this case two).Guns were an integral part of the movie. If you took guns out of the movie, there would be no

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com52tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1136565237070704172006-01-06T08:28:00.000-08:002006-01-06T08:33:57.336-08:00

Sometimes, being brave isn't a good thingYou don't want to be James Bond's friend. Bad things always happen to James Bond's friends. If James Bond comes up to you and wanted to grab a beer with you, just tell him "No James Bond, I won't grab a beer with you and I don't want to be your friend." With his track record of friendships, I'm sure he'll understand.You also don't want to be the fat

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com45tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1136440453959012652006-01-04T21:48:00.000-08:002006-01-04T21:54:14.150-08:00

I know a lot of people in blogland are writers. Some have a successful writing career and others struggle to get their work published.I've seen a lot of writers out there who are really good, and who I wish I could publish myself, had I been running a publishing company. I also see some scam artists who are making a killing.Ever since I started this blog, it has been for fun. I currently don't

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1136353900312731662006-01-03T21:50:00.000-08:002006-01-04T09:00:43.753-08:00

I know taxes are everyone's least favorite subject, but this needs to be said. This doesn't just apply to Americans, but pretty much any country where property gets taxed and is rented. So it applies to the entire First World and a lot of the Third World as well. As for those of you in the Second World, your life sucks, so can't help you.There's been a lot of talk around here of raising

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1135823993411436282005-12-29T08:22:00.000-08:002006-01-05T18:51:28.110-08:00

Just to let you know, I wasn't at all dissing Hybrids. I was however making fun of my buddy's mother's elitist attitude with them, especially considering my Saturn got better gas mileage and had more trunk room. My Saturn's definitely not a babe magnet though. I guess there's no such thing as a perfect car.JokeDo you know what the leper said to the surgeon?"Hey buddy, could you lend me a hand?

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com34tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1135743154578771572005-12-27T19:56:00.000-08:002005-12-27T20:12:34.710-08:00

My buddy "Pangloss" had an argument with his mother. His mother, "Eleanor," wants a Hybrid. Pangloss asked which Hybrid she wanted, and she told him. Forgot the model, but my Saturn gets better gas mileage than that Hybrid. Pangloss brought that up and she got upset. "It's the statement," she argued. Screw the statement, my Saturn gets better gas mileage than that stupid Hybrid. That means

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1135699939296725632005-12-27T08:09:00.000-08:002005-12-27T08:12:19.486-08:00

Friday night, while waiting for the traffic to subside so I could head back to Chico, my real estate agent and I went out to see King Kong. In case you didn't know, Peter Jackson, the guy who directed Lord of the Rings, directed this flick. I initially questioned the producers' decision to have Peter Jackson do Lord of the Rings, because I've only seen him do Heavenly Creatures before, which

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1135242993419949972005-12-22T00:16:00.000-08:002005-12-22T01:16:33.590-08:00

This post is for two lovely ladies, Notta Wallflower for what you said reminded me of something stupid I couldn't stop laughing at, and Liquid Plastic just because.I can't help laughing when someone falls down or bumps into something. I can't help it. It's funny. Even reading about it is funny. Once, Jenn was writing about hitting her funny bone and how much it hurt. I couldn't stop laughing

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com45tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1135183334762434972005-12-21T08:33:00.000-08:002005-12-21T08:42:14.770-08:00

My wife's buddy is pretty cool. One day, we were talking about laughter. She actually laughs to deal with stress, and it often gets her in trouble because she'll laugh at the worst possible moments. It's how she deals.I'm kind of like that. I've always run a ridiculously high stress level, so that's why I have to stay physically active. It has nothing to do with staying slim and everything

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1135053214169784312005-12-19T20:32:00.000-08:002005-12-19T21:06:12.466-08:00

My undergrad roommate came from a wealthy family. We'll call him "Rocky." Rocky was a super nice guy. He always smiled. His parents had a cabin in Tahoe, a butt-load of stock and other investments, and were still madly in love with each other. Rocky skied a lot and generally enjoyed life.Rocky did what he wanted to do for a living. Imagine taking a job because you want to do it instead of

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1135004278851428822005-12-19T06:56:00.000-08:002005-12-19T06:57:59.093-08:00

Traffic sucked so much Friday night that my real estate agent, one of his friends, and I went out to see Syriana before I headed home to Chico.If you haven't heard the basic premise, it's a movie about the West's addiction. No, it isn't about coffee, it's about oil.As much as I don't like George Clooney as a person, he's a fine actor and does a good job as a CIA agent with no mind of his own.

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1134751906384424512005-12-16T08:40:00.000-08:002005-12-16T08:51:46.526-08:00

Neal had me re-reading my old stuff from the first month of blogging. I realized I've toned down considerably, and I hold back too much. I have become safe.This last post was floating around for months now and I've been afraid to post it. I finally realized I should.Some of you are new to this board. Let me assure you that I welcome people not agreeing with me. Don't ever be afraid to

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1134448683039020252005-12-15T23:32:00.000-08:002005-12-16T00:11:39.906-08:00

There are two main types of America haters. One is the guy in the Third World country that hates our foreign policy. He's the one I won't be talking about.I want to talk about the other type. I wanted to talk about the white guy in the First World country who comes from the Upper-Middle class, has a degree or better yet, a Graduate degree in something economically unviable like Art. I want to

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com43tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1134491846625599392005-12-13T19:24:00.000-08:002005-12-13T19:13:24.733-08:00

We as a society need to start taking this upcoming plague more seriously. The problem is, most work environments are not suited to defend oneself and one's co-workers against a zombie assault. As is, most of us will be sitting ducks. If I were running the show, it won't be that way.You remember when you had to do those fire drills at school? Well, once a year, each employer with more than five

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com36tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1134406424818839102005-12-12T08:51:00.000-08:002005-12-12T08:53:44.970-08:00

It would take a lot to please me, considering the book The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe is my favorite book of all time. I remember well the first time I read that book. My parents kept calling me for dinner. I kept replying "a few more minutes, I'm almost done with the book."I couldn't put it down. After I finished, I would never be the same.I kept fantasizing about the book, how I

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1134147193575271482005-12-09T08:32:00.000-08:002005-12-09T08:54:22.466-08:00

I stereotype a lot, and my most common victims are musicians and engineers. I've worked as both and still consider myself a musician first. Feeding a family in California on $200 a month isn't easy, that's why I work as a software engineer. Sure, I could have been a studio musician and make a decent living, but you really think I'd want to play guitar on Jessica Simpson's album? I might even

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1133923261775297802005-12-07T07:01:00.000-08:002005-12-07T19:06:30.820-08:00

I used to think being a squib would suck. Imagine being from a long line of magical families and being the one bloke in the family with no magical abilities whatsoever. Bummer, huh? I think of squibs like Filch who have massive inferiority complexes. Or that weird lady with the cats who lives near Harry's aunt who looks like she never left the 19th century. Squibs must have lonely existences.

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1133728221140084322005-12-06T19:06:00.000-08:002005-12-06T18:49:30.100-08:00

You all know how much I love food. This weekend, I stayed in the Bay Area. We have no cable in Chico, so when we want to watch tv, we either have to rent it from the local video store or go to the sports bar.So I finally got to see Food Network and my favorite cook. I loooove Italian food, and my older brother for last Christmas bought me two Italian cookbooks. One of them was Everyday

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1133743384179542262005-12-05T08:29:00.000-08:002005-12-05T17:49:36.446-08:00

I do all the food shopping in both of the places I live. My real estate agent doesn't cook, and when I get back to Chico, I do all the food shopping there too. It's no big deal because I actually enjoy food shopping. I love cooking.When in line, I see which stupid celebrity is divorcing or cheating on whom and another recipe book/ad/propoganda crap for the Atkins diet. It's bad enough that

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com39tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1133636143742776302005-12-04T00:04:00.000-08:002005-12-05T17:50:54.186-08:00

My great-grandfather and great-grandmother were married for over fifty years before they passed on. I met them once after they moved to Florida.My great-grandfather made his own wine. He told us that some turned out really good, and some were undrinkable. He not only made his own wine but built two piers on the lake he lived on.I noticed that he and my great-grandmother touched a lot. Smiled

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1133539416790996002005-12-02T07:55:00.000-08:002005-12-02T08:03:37.006-08:00

Yeah. Amazing what HR thinks will make employees happy.Speaking of HR, these will definitely get you a warning nowadays from HR, and you'll have to watch the "sensitivity video."What do you call a fat Chinese guy?A chunk.How do you get a one armed Polish guy out of a tree?You wave.What do you do when a drummer knocks at your door?You take the pizza and pay him.Well, I think it's still

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1133411830858357022005-11-30T20:24:00.000-08:002005-11-30T20:41:07.040-08:00

I'm spinning. If I'm slurring my words, I apologize in advance, but it's because my real estate agent made one heck of a martini. He took Beefeater Gin, put two olives in it, and added ice. Wow! That's one strong drink.Now I'm feeling good while he's flying a helicopter indoors.Do you think Ron when nobody's looking ever sings Everything She Does in Magic to himself while thinking of Hermoine?

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com39tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1133282213577247262005-11-29T08:17:00.000-08:002005-11-29T08:39:37.310-08:00

The year is 2010. We still do not have flying cars. We still don't have cool spaceships. And aliens still have no desire to contact us. However, bad taste is now a crime punishable by a short jail sentence and many hours of community service. For your past, you are in court.Judge: Is it true that you and your best friend saw New Kids on the Block in concert?the courtroom is dead silentYou: I

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1133196976476551902005-11-28T08:41:00.000-08:002005-11-28T08:56:16.656-08:00

Over the break, we got a chance to see Harry Potter 4 - Goblet of Fire. We were excited to see it, having felt that Mexican director who did Harry Potter 3 was brilliant and we wondered why they didn't ask him to do HP4 as well. Well, now I'm wondering if it was a bad case of Affirmative Action. The Harry Potter movies never had a British director, which was kind of ironic. So they hired a

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com32tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1132712587442829552005-11-22T18:04:00.000-08:002005-11-22T18:26:01.603-08:00

Here is Denise Richards. I've seen her in three movies now, that James Bond flick, Starship Troopers, and Undercover Brother. My wife and I busted up laughing at Undercover Brother, and in all three movies, Ms Richards looked stunning. Sure, she can't act her way out of a paper bag, but man was she pleasant on the eyes.Me & P**nThis is for Michele whose filter blocked my reply. I simply

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1132533900508999452005-11-20T16:25:00.000-08:002005-11-20T16:45:00.633-08:00

In 1994, President Bill Clinton signed to law the 1994 Assault Weapons Ban, which thankfully sunsetted in 2004. This Bill was so Unconstitutional that memberships in the National Rifle Association skyrocketed to over four million members and the Gun Owners of America (of which yours truly is a Life Member) passed half a million.Because of gun control, the Democrats got destroyed in the 2000s.

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1132303863166034522005-11-18T00:42:00.000-08:002005-11-18T19:00:06.530-08:00

I was walking yesterday and remembered that kids read my blog. In my last article, I talked about getting horrible grades in grade school. I confess. I did, and I regret it. I could just see some kid saying "but Mom, The Zombieslayer got bad grades."So let me set things straight. Because of my bad grades, I got zero scholarships. I went to a community college for two years because no

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1132222279900011442005-11-17T01:35:00.000-08:002005-11-17T02:12:57.420-08:00

Those who have been here for awhile know my background and understand my sense of humor and what I'm trying to accomplish. For those who are new, let me explain...To make a long story short, I was born in the Mid-West, although I grew up in a refinery town in California. I had a wonderful childhood, although the town I grew up in was somewhat rough and my younger brother had horrible asthma,

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com41tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1132158259454096052005-11-16T08:23:00.000-08:002005-11-16T08:24:19.590-08:00

...tell a joke.So, rescuers found three survivors in the desert the other day. When interviewed, they discussed how they survived.The American was carrying an umbrella. "So why were you carrying an umbrella?," the reporter asked."So when it got too hot, I opened it up and I was in the shade."The Mexican carried a bucket of water. "Why were you carrying a bucket of water?""So when it got too

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1132073540450921742005-11-15T08:31:00.000-08:002005-11-15T08:55:20.546-08:00

My son laughed when they served the quail. He thought it was the funniest thing to get a plate with a little bird on it minus the head. He ordered quail and I ordered the quail/steak combo. We both actually liked quail.I've been quail hunting twice, and both times didn't see a single quail the whole time we were out there. When it's not hunting season, you see quail everywhere. I think

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1131959276677854512005-11-14T01:02:00.000-08:002005-11-14T01:19:58.406-08:00

This weekend went really well. The Packers upset the Falcons, the team who will probably represent the NFC in the Super Bowl and go on to lose to the AFC team.Saturday, went to a wedding. Mrs. Z was a bridesmaid and looked stunning. Of course yours truly brought the camera and forgot it in the trunk. I told you I suffer from CRS. It's because I've been exceedingly busy, so busy I have yet to

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1131602436047631522005-11-10T08:00:00.000-08:002005-11-10T07:49:54.876-08:00

Exmi saved Thalia from the zombie plague, for I had no idea who she was. Shortly, she'll be getting the formal invitation. So good news, Exmi, she'll be safe when the zombies come. The last hot Latina singer I knew of was Selena, and that was only after that crazy lady who ran her fan club killed her. Before that, I knew Yuri. Yuri sang some cute, catchy songs that I probably never heard

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com37tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1129600122162259052005-11-09T07:48:00.000-08:002005-11-09T07:54:59.606-08:00

Well, you can blame my real estate agent for making me do a serious post. We went food shopping at the local Asian market and had all kinds of funny stories with pictures to go along with them. However, Einstein couldn't figure out how to get the pictures from his cell phone to my email address so I could post them on the blog. So, instead of a funny post about Engrish, I go off on how much

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1131465218756913192005-11-08T07:50:00.000-08:002005-11-08T08:13:27.880-08:00

I was watching Master and Commander the other day when I was thinking of how good this movie could have been. I couldn't put my finger on it, but it was lacking. It was historically accurate, visually nice, yet, as a film, it was just okay.They had young boys on the ship. I wouldn't let the younger kiddies see it because one of the boys gets his arm amputated and if I'm not mistaken, another

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1131379711633774462005-11-07T08:05:00.000-08:002005-11-08T00:44:09.386-08:00

You've heard me use the expression on this website "The Man" many times. Not only have I used it many times, I'll continue to use it. I like it, but I wanted to explain that "The Man" is not just one man, it's a collection of people, both men and women.The Man is almost exclusively upper-upper class. The upper-upper class has a very exclusive attitude to them. They want to decide who can

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1131143337397546992005-11-04T14:13:00.000-08:002005-11-04T14:28:57.610-08:00

When I was interviewing for work in the Bay Area, my real estate agent and I had some good quality time together. He recently sold his rental and is sitting pretty with a lot of cash. He recently rewarded himself with a limited addition sports car so he took me up into the Berkeley hills in it.From the Berkeley Hills, you can stare out over both the Berkeley and Oakland city lights and see the

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1131034963942862592005-11-03T08:17:00.000-08:002005-11-03T08:22:44.080-08:00

I know you hate doing this, but it's only 10 questions. Plus, some of them are too easy.I got this idea from Thom and Bsoholic. They both had this quiz at different times and I decided that since my brain is fried and I haven't posted in a few days, I have to post something. So why not a stupid quiz, right?Here, take my stupid quiz. Winner gets bragging rights. Take my Quiz! and then Check

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1130913289316074752005-11-01T22:07:00.000-08:002005-11-01T22:50:05.066-08:00

Sadie, sorry I missed your question on The Great White Bear's reply to your statement. A little background, Great White Bear and Sadie were having a friendly discussion about Harriet Miers a few weeks back. The discussion itself stayed friendly, which is a wonderful thing. Hats off to both Sadie and Great White Bear who showed that two people can disagree and be civil. I won't mention names,

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1130781705245265772005-10-31T09:49:00.000-08:002005-10-31T10:01:45.363-08:00

I've been trying to do new things with potatoes, because they're so easy to grow and provide just about every nutrient except for Vitamin A. The last thing I did with them was cut them into fries and wok them. They actually turned out pretty good.Mrs. Z has a new job. Her boss is cool. Her boss loves dressing up very professionally, but still likes bands like Slayer, who sing pretty songs the

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1130526390514978142005-10-28T11:47:00.000-07:002005-10-28T12:06:30.676-07:00

Dave introduced me to a lot of different music, outside the realm of Heavy Metal. For the record, I didn't like most of it. Sorry Dave. I did try. I could stomach one of Coldplay's albums. I can't stand any Radiohead after OK Computer. Dave Matthews, eh...I don't see why people rant and rave over U2. They put out two good albums (Achtung Baby and Joshua Tree) and a few good singles from

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1130458032930311172005-10-27T16:50:00.000-07:002005-10-27T17:14:26.910-07:00

Ben and I were talking the other day about blog formats. He likes to mix sports, pop culture, and politics. I try to do as much humor as I can, but throw in politics, hot babes, and movie reviews as well, plus random stuff. I was told by a lot of people that they like my movie reviews, so that's why I do them.I love it when Vest writes about his war stories. It really is a shame that the

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1128216109417098172005-10-26T10:21:00.000-07:002005-10-26T10:46:09.746-07:00

I've waited tables for years, and really notice when customer service is bad, whether it's at a restaurant or if I'm waiting in line at a grocery store. Bad customer service really makes me angry, because it's the fault of management. I've been fortunate to have good managers over the years waiting tables who explained how to handle different scenarios, including angry customers.When someone

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1130212571054907602005-10-24T21:08:00.000-07:002005-10-24T20:56:11.133-07:00

Yo Savage, missed Spoken Word tonight because just now getting home from the final interview. I'll find out about this one by eod Wednesday. It's a $30,000 raise over the last job, which is exactly what I demanded from the last job or I told them I'd walk. Well, walk I did because they couldn't meet that. I'm really mad at the last company now. Long story though, maybe another day.Anyways,

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com32tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1130176441980531432005-10-24T10:51:00.000-07:002005-10-24T10:54:02.090-07:00

Finished up with all but one interview and already got offers. I've been in about five cities in five days, and had internet connection for a total of about one hour. After I get this all settled, I'll be back to normal.Hope all is good with you. I hope you're happy Ben. My Packers blew a 17-0 lead and lost in the final seconds by a 56-yard field goal. :(

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1129599238394923542005-10-18T13:33:00.000-07:002005-10-18T14:02:18.200-07:00

One problem with Americans is they throw around words without knowing what they really mean. For example, you will hear Leftists call someone they disagree with all the time "a fascist." Or you will hear Rightists call someone they disagree with "a communist."I already did my piece on why communism is bad. I now want to show you that there's a huge difference between my brand of American

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com38tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1129490378507559202005-10-16T12:00:00.000-07:002005-10-16T12:19:38.566-07:00

I'm going to be online sporatically the whole next week, so just warning you in advance. I hope to have a few days where I can write and actually do some blogging, but no promises. It's not a hiatus, it's more taking care of what needs to be taken care of.Several things went wrong with the move to Santa Barbara. My brother and I were planning on buying a fixer-upper house together in Goleta.

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1127793785888858802005-10-13T08:42:00.000-07:002005-10-13T09:02:29.933-07:00

I had the pleasure of meeting one of the best Spoken Word artists out there today. His name is Kyle and he's running a wonderful Spoken Word performance in Chico, CA. He used to compete in poetry slams around the country and has been a prominent member in some very good teams.I performed there in Chico many times, doing live what you read in print. It's actually meant to be performed live,

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com37tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1128747265625983442005-10-12T09:01:00.000-07:002005-10-12T09:13:08.380-07:00

It is a big myth that men are crazy about women with big hoo hoos. Sure they grab your attention, but will they hold it? Anna Nicole Smith opened her mouth once and I'll never look at her the same way. And Keira Knightley is pretty much flat chested, yet which guy in the right mind isn't crazy about her?I first saw her in one of my favorite movies of recent, Pirates of the Caribbean. Youza!

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1128995785943131192005-10-11T08:48:00.000-07:002005-10-11T08:58:18.363-07:00

I have writer's block. I've had it for a week now. It's not true writer's block because I could still whip out other posts, but I've been meaning to write up something about the Fourth Amendment for two weeks now and just can't do it. I really liked what I did with the Third Amendment and wanted to follow up a piece that is on par with it.The Fourth is one of the most important Amendments to

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1128470120782428102005-10-10T08:17:00.000-07:002005-10-10T10:10:10.156-07:00

I know your bestest buddy and her boyfriend are just swell. I'm not denying that. I know you love hanging out with them, and that they not only make you laugh so hard your eyes water, they're even your primary inspiration for when it comes to writing. Any way you slice it though, you're the third wheel.In private circumstances, that's fine. But in public, it's usually not. Take for instance

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1128616158236280872005-10-07T09:11:00.000-07:002005-10-07T10:36:59.200-07:00

I look forward to three Holidays every year - Halloween, Christmas, and New Year's Day. Love all three. Since it's October, I'll share with you a Zombieslayer family tradition, dummies.We have a dummy named Stinky Jone. Right now, he's in a box collecting dust. We'll have to put him together and set him up to frighten kids.Stinky was a regular guy. He drank beer and watched TV after a hard

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1128615087790481692005-10-06T08:55:00.000-07:002005-10-06T09:11:27.846-07:00

I'm not even going to get mad at the Harriet Miers nomination. Why bother? I will do my part and write Boxer to let her know she's way underqualified for the position. (Feinstein and The Zombieslayer hate each other so I won't bother writing her).Instead of getting mad, I'll share something with you. The future.Jeb will be President in 2012. Scary thought, I know, but this is why.The economy

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1128484972463328052005-10-04T20:37:00.000-07:002005-10-04T22:52:00.260-07:00

Laura's post mentioning a hangover and Slade's post about Asian women and nails reminded me of Scary Chinese Lady, an infamous female version of Seinfeld's Soup Nazi.Now, not everyone knows what Pho is so I'll explain. It's simply a Vietnamese noodle soup cooked with beef broth and magic. It's so magic, that it was the very first meal my buddy ordered when he got out of Huntsville. He called

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com37tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1128280940145607032005-10-04T09:00:00.000-07:002005-10-04T09:01:50.943-07:00

I'm a big fan of Terry Gilliam. I loved Monty Python and really enjoyed Brazil and Twelve Monkeys. So needless to say, I had a few expectations coming into this film.The Grimm Brothers in this tale are con artists, taking advantage of local superstitions with elaborate costumes, wires, and gags. The two brothers pretend to rid a town of ghosts while they secretly have two other performers help

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1128212874041865242005-10-03T09:03:00.000-07:002005-10-03T09:06:53.976-07:00

During the Cold War, I had relatives from two countries on the other side of the Iron Curtain. I felt bad for them and hoped we'd never have a nuclear war for I'd feel bad if we killed them. I knew in my heart they were wonderful people, even though I only knew them by last names.I was greatly relieved when the Cold War ended. It was wonderful to read interviews with Russian musicians, artists

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1128213978212309052005-10-01T17:30:00.000-07:002005-10-01T18:11:03.966-07:00

I remember the very first time I heard Lauryn Hill. I was delivering pizza with the radio on. My tapes kept melting in the hot sun, so I only listened to the radio back then. Suddenly, I heard an angel's voice sing:Strumming my pain with his fingers,Singing my life with his words,Killing me softly with his song,Killing me softly with his song,Telling my whole life with his words,Killing me

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12633586.post-1128100308042098082005-09-30T10:05:00.000-07:002005-09-30T10:11:48.116-07:00

It's Friday. Time for either a hot babe post or a quick joke. I think this friday will be the latter.So a guy walks into a bar and sees a guy with an uncomfortable look standing by the bathroom door. He goes up to the bartender and says "what's with that guy?""Oh, he was having coughing fits and they were so bad, he was afraid he'd throw his back out again.""Then why is he by the bathroom door

The Zombieslayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00739873812900433755noreply@blogger.com19